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The Key to Better Decisions and Performance.

 

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
– Viktor E. Frankl

 

When emotions go up, intelligence goes down.

Think about the last time you were angry or doubtful. What about when you were frustrated or overwhelmed? If you’re like me, you realize your behavior probably had some room for improvement.

In school, we learn subjects like math, science, and literature. At work, we’re expected to have a basic mastery of language and technical skills. Emotion regulation is never a required course.

Instead, we learn to regulate our emotions through trial and error, often developing adaptive behaviors that might not serve who we want to be or how we want to show up at work. And, when we get it wrong, the consequences ripple — through our decision-making, creativity, and relationships.

I fired off that email too soon.

I didn’t see the opportunity that could have made the project outcome better.

I opted out of that development experience because of fear.

I resisted career-changing feedback.

I said something hurtful out of frustration.

I let the conflict escalate.

Do you ever have thoughts like that? Managing our emotions skillfully in these situations shouldn’t be an afterthought; it should be the first tool we use to help ourselves and our teams succeed.

The good news? Emotion regulation is a skill that can be learned, practiced, and strengthened over time so we’re better equipped to perform at our best.

The basics of emotion regulation include:

  • Recognizing that an emotion is present – biologically and psychologically.
  • Naming the emotion without judgment.
  • Practicing the pause between emotion and action.
  • Reframing emotions as packets of information.
  • Deploying the right tool (stillness, movement, reflection) to return to balance.
  • Choosing to learn from our emotions.

When we practice emotion regulation, we start to enjoy these benefits:

What’s interesting is that we assume people should know how to do this. But we wouldn’t expect someone to know how to code in Python, would we? We’d provide them with instruction, use cases, lab time to learn, and grace for mistakes. We owe it to our people to do the same when it comes to this essential workplace skill. If we took emotion regulation as seriously as we do technical skills, we might just create those high-performing cultures we seek.